When Should Parents Complain About a Youth Sports Coach’s Behavior?

As a sports mom, mom and stepmom to fourdon’t intervene, my kids could get hurt or
young athletes, age 8 to 19, one of my biggestlose confidence.
challenges is understanding how to deal withKnowing when and when not to intervene is a
coaches.really tough decision for a sports parent. I
I’ve come in contact with every kind ofdon’t want the coach to walk away with the
coach imaginable. For example, I’ve wonderedidea that I think my child deserves special
how to deal with the coach who favors his owntreatment. But at the same time, I want to
child.protect my child as much as possible.
I’ve also struggled with coaches who, on theWhen should you intervene and have a talk with
other end of the spectrum, can’t live withoutthe coach? Here are some scenarios:
my young athlete—and insist on having my• When your child and the team are not
child play even when he’s sick or injured!having any fun
These coaches have favored my young athlete in• When your child complains about how
ways that upset other sports parents andnegative or mean the coach is
players.• When your child is forced to practice and
In addition, I’ve had to cope with coachesplay when injured
who are sometimes grouchy, have bad days, or• When the coach threatens to bench your
dish out negative feedback in ways that hurtchild for making mistakes, which may undermine
young athletes’ feelings. I even had to decideyour child’s confidence and increase his or her
what to do about a coach who was abusive.fear of failing.
Understanding how to deal with these coaches isIf you decide to talk to your child’s coach
not easy as a sports parent.about one of the above issues, make sure you
I worry that if I choose to speak up, I maypick the right moment. Don’t do it at half-time
interfere in a way that creates friction betweenof the regional play-offs or in the middle of
my kids and their coaches. On the other hand, if Ipractice!