What to Do on Father's Day When Dad is Deceased

"We can't celebrate Father's Day anymore, ourname on it
Dad has died." This is such an incorrect statement· Eat his favorite meal
that I need to tell you about all the exciting· Do something that he loved to do on
prospects that you can partake in on this day -that day: go to a ball game, build a birdhouse, eat
whether or not you have a living father!hot dogs in the park, go for a bike ride, etc.
Create your own celebration that will be specialFather's day is about honoring the men in your life
for the child. Ignoring the day allows for the childthat have contributed to your growth, education,
to realize something is missing in their life. As thehappiness and well-being. It does not have to be
only parent, create an experience that says "Wejust about a biological father. Have a dinner for
rock - just the way we are!" Create an event orpeople that have made a difference in your child's
a ritual that can be repeated from year to yearlife: have your child/children make dessert, place
that celebrates what you currently have.cards and any other aspects that they enjoy
I am a child who lost her father at the age of 7. Idoing.
grew up not celebrating Father's Day. HoweverIf dinner doesn't work for the guest of honor,
my mother put in place events that allowed mehave a lunch, afternoon BBQ or create a card and
to feel normal and to appreciate life. When mydeliver it. The card can include a thank you for
dad died just before Halloween, my mother madethe things that the child has appreciated from this
sure that I still celebrated Halloween in the wayperson throughout the year. One child I know
that we did every year in our neighborhood. Thewrote a card and in it drew a Ferris wheel and
young woman across the street (who alsosaid "thanks for taking me to the fair".
babysat me) was hired to take me out in myOn Father's Day, do something special with the
wonderful elaborate costume that my motherchild such as:
forced herself to make even in the shock of my· Create a special meal together to
father's sudden massive heart attack. I stillcelebrate family
remember that Halloween for being a good time -· Play a game together
and its 50 years later!· Go for a trip by car, bus or roller blade!
It is important to create traditions that areTake a walk through a special area of your city
meaningful and appropriate for your family. Lookor country.
for positives and things that are working out right· Eat ice cream
in your lives and in the family and focus on them· Build a thankfulness garden. Plant lettuce,
on this day. If it is hard for you to do thismarigolds, tomatoes, peas.
because of a tragedy, keep your mind on the· Make a poster for the fridge that
impact you can have on your child by modeling ashows the family as it is and says "We rock!"
positive attitude and an understanding of how· Have a special meal that each person
things can be good.contributes to just as each person contributes to
As someone who helps people with funeral plans,the family
I have spent alot of time with people who are· If there is a grandfather, uncle or special
mourning and with them in their lives afterwards.friend, invite them to participate
My own experiences as well as theirs have given· Make cards for each other in the family.
me insight into what can help a person be moreTell each other what is special about them. (One
than just a survivor. These experiences havefamily I know created this tradition several years
helped me to see how people can grow andago. The children keep a list of things that they
thrive and enjoy their lives to the fullest with richwill include in the card for each year).
tradition and healthy attitudes and activities.· Make a card for the mother that does
If dad has died, you might want to have a specialboth father and mother duties
celebration to remember him. Some people wear· Encourage your child to understand that
a white rose for their deceased father on thewhen there is only one parent, the other parent
day. If he is buried in a cemetery or has a placeand family members pick up the roles and then
that memorializes him, the family could visit andcelebrate this fact.
take flowers. Making his favorite meal and sharing· Don't be afraid to have balloons, hot
it is another way to remember his memory. Thedogs, ice cream and even goody bags.
children could also:May you have a positive and meaningful father's
· Write a letter to dadday with your family or close friends surrounding
· Create a garden stepping stone with hisyou.