| "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but | | | | wrist guards on! I began to feel good about my |
| names will never hurt me." | | | | decision, until both of them came towards me |
| Is that so? I would beg to differ and if you ask | | | | with their heads hanging low. The older one was |
| my seventh grader, he would declare that the | | | | crying and pulling his helmet and skates off, |
| pain he felt from being laughed at, was no | | | | before I could say a word. |
| different than the pain he'd felt when he'd fallen at | | | | What happened? I asked. |
| the skate park. | | | | They're making fun of me. I'm doing the best I |
| I had designed a stress-free day with my boys: | | | | can. I can't help it if I fall...I'm just starting out. Like |
| We were going to take advantage of the | | | | they never fell when they were just learning????! |
| beautiful fall day, with our brand new roller blades | | | | My heart went out to him as I remembered that |
| and head to the skate park. After a twenty | | | | pain so clearly. This was a child who would never |
| minute argument about wearing protective gear, | | | | dream of saying a mean word to someone who |
| we were on our way, though everyone continued | | | | was trying their best. He was raised with the |
| muttering under their breath. | | | | constant reminder of: Choose your words |
| Why do we need knee pads? These wrist guards | | | | carefully. It matters what you say and how you |
| aren't comfortable. Nobody wears elbow pads... | | | | say it. It all matters. |
| It was maddening, to say the least. I mean, I was | | | | I gave him an empathetic glance, wishing I could |
| given the job of "mom" because someone, | | | | reprimand those kids. But knew I couldn't. I |
| somewhere, believed that I was capable of | | | | wanted to give him a hug that protected him |
| making sure my children were kept safe. That | | | | from the pain of being in seventh grade. But |
| was the most important part of this job, wasn't | | | | knew I couldn't. I wanted him to wear protective |
| it? I was willing to pick and choose my arguments | | | | gear to keep him safe, but knew I couldn't. So I |
| carefully, but I had seen this one too many times | | | | did the only thing I could. I put my arms around |
| before. I pleaded with them that the gear would | | | | him, offered some solutions and waited for him to |
| keep us from having to leave the park in tears. I | | | | choose. |
| tried to remind them of the times we'd left | | | | I just want to go home, he said. |
| bandaged, bruised and crying. | | | | I knew that those children were his friends and |
| "I draw the line this time," I said firmly. "I want | | | | didn't really want to hurt him. I knew they only |
| this to be fun and am not leaving here with you | | | | laughed, because someone had once laughed at |
| guys crying again...wear the pads." | | | | them too. Yet it was a reminder for all of us that |
| As they watched the other twenty teenagers | | | | day to be conscious of what we say to other |
| gliding up and down the ramps, some with | | | | people and how they might be affected by our |
| helmets, some without and none with any other | | | | words. It was also a reminder for me that as |
| protective gear, I could almost hear their little | | | | much as I want to protect my children, |
| heads screaming: no one else is wearing this stuff! | | | | sometimes you just have to fall down...to learn |
| I didn't care. It wasn't my job to protect the | | | | how to get back up. |
| community, just my own children. | | | | My heart ached for him as he gathered his wrist |
| Begrudgingly they began and I watched them | | | | guards, helmet and $150 skates he had just |
| gracefully skate up and down several times, | | | | bought. My heart ached as I watched his younger |
| stopping often to talk to their friends about their | | | | brother feel his pain as well. And all I could think |
| new skates. They fell several times and I smiled, | | | | was: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but |
| wanting to say: see, good thing you had those | | | | names can hurt as well. |