Relationships Can Be Ruined by Cell Phones

I usually write about relationships and differencesthat no call will go unreceived, and all calls can be
between men and women. I write a lot aboutreturned at the most convenient time. But, rather
what men and women say to each other. But,than turn off the phones when occupied, people
this piece is not about what they say to eachkeep them on at all times. They are never free.
other; it's about where they say it - on their cellIn effect, cell phones now burden, not free
phones.people.
Personal conversations and business conversationsYou can't stop progress. Cell phones are with us;
are intended for people on each end of the phonethey are an integral part of our lives. My complaint
- not for a room full of people or those walkingis not about their existence; they can be helpful.
along the street, relaxing on a park bench, orMy complaint isn't even about the danger of
waiting in a doctor's office. Nor should thesetalking while driving. My complaint is that in addition
conversations be inflicted on people relievingto helping people keep in touch, cell phones
themselves in a public bathroom, enjoying a cupinterfere with personal relationships, pushing people
of tea in a restaurant, or deciding which bottle ofaway. It's wonderful to be able to call your honey
juice or which shirt to buy inside a store, orfrom wherever you are (although lovers certainly
locked in an elevator with no escape.have found ways to do that long before cell
When did we get so promiscuous with ourphones). But how often have you seen fiends
personal and business information that we spew itwalking down the street - with one talking on the
about? If there is no problem about privacy forphone? Or, families at a restaurant or social
the speaker, how about privacy for the unwittingevent, with everyone chatting but the father (or
listeners?mother) separated by the cell? What is intended
How can telephone talkers not feel the publicnessas a together activity gets interrupted when one
of their conversations? Perhaps they invent aof the people "goes away" via the cell phone.
bubble around themselves; they are so engrossedThis technology is now used to undermine
in their conversation they aren't aware of others.relationships. There was a time when this issue
Maybe they believe themselves to be invisible towould have been related to gender; women
others.generally are more attuned to relationships, so
On New Year's Day at the beginning of this newthey might have been more sensitive to someone
century, I was walking through Central Park inpulling away from them. But women have
New York City. I saw a man roller skating whilebecome as much a victim of the cell phone
talking on the phone. A few minutes later, I saw arudeness and isolation as men. It's as if there is a
woman spinning her wheel chair with a phone tostatus for not just having a cell phone but having
her ear; later, a man was walking his dog andit ring while out with others. Does that mean
talking on the phone.you're important? You are doing big business?
I was struck by how extraordinary were theYour fan club is following you?
situations in which this new invention - the cellA far cry from the novelty of seeing someone
phone - was being used. That gave me a brainon skates or in a wheel chair talking on a phone,
storm: to mark the turn of a new century,there was a movie that again suggests the
someone should publish a photography bookextraordinary may become ordinary. In Jet Lag,"
showing how cell phones were invading our worlda woman is in the airport security line talking on
and shaping a new life style. Little did I realize howher phone. In mid-sentence, she puts the phone
quickly our life style was changing and this bookon the conveyor belt, walks through the
would soon be outdated. Today, cell phone usagescreening, picks up the phone on the other side
in public places is so common that what had beenand resumes her conversation - without missing a
extraordinary is now taken for granted.beat. The really best part though, is when she's
Last week, on the river, I saw a man holding theon the toilet talking. She goes to flush, drops the
handle of his skimobile with his right hand while hisphone, and watches in horror as it swirls down
left hand was at his ear. He whipped by sothe drain.
quickly, I couldn't be sure, but what else couldI'm glad she was using her best friend to help
have been in that hand?with her crisis of the moment, but I applaud the
Cell phones do make life easier; all calls can beflushing, feeling the relief of women in the other
received wherever you are, and no matter howstalls; they could now sit in peace. Maybe I'm
busy you are, you can keep in touch with clients,wrong, though. Maybe cell phones can bring people
family, and friends. How can one complain abouttogether since she then borrowed one from a
technology that does that? The benefit of thisstronger at the airport who ended up as her
technology should be to free up time, assuredhusband.