| The things we unwitting do to each can be | | | | the ride but he couldn't. I could see in his face his |
| profound. I once made my 8 year old son come | | | | confusion and frustration because he really, really |
| on a roller coaster ride when he did not want to. | | | | wanted to go on that ride with his sisters, but |
| He was afraid, but I selfishly wanted to go on it | | | | another part, deep within, wouldn't let him. He was |
| and I made him come with me in spite of his | | | | in an awful state of confusion, and now tears, but |
| protests. On the ride he sat in the seat with his | | | | fortunately, in that moment, I saw deeply what I |
| arms folded tightly across his little chest, angrily | | | | had done to him that day two years earlier. |
| and defiantly, but moments after the ride began | | | | It was horrible and painful to see what I caused |
| we hit a bump, which abruptly raised him high off | | | | by forcing my son against his will to ride that |
| his seat and scared that pants off him because | | | | earlier roller-coaster. I took him aside and |
| he wasn't ready for it. Of course he immediately | | | | reminded him of that last roller coaster ride. I |
| grabbed the restraining bar for the rest of the | | | | explained that I was very wrong to do what I did |
| ride but when the ride was over he was some | | | | making him go on it when he didn't want to and I |
| mad. Fuming at me was more accurate, but it | | | | apologized right then and there. I told him his fear |
| had to go somewhere ultimately, because a kid | | | | wasn't really toward the roller-coaster but was |
| old can't stay mad at his Dad forever. | | | | really unreleased upset and anger toward me |
| What he did was to unconsciously sublimated his | | | | inside him...that his original anger and upset he had |
| anger away from me and directed it toward the | | | | against me shows up now at roller-coasters, and |
| roller-coaster instead. For once unresolved anger | | | | that is why in now feels like being afraid to go on |
| gets inside us it has to show-up somewhere. In | | | | a roller-coaster again. I also told him that all he had |
| this case, I would later learn, it would manifest in | | | | to do was forgive me for what I did that day |
| the form of a phobia...or more precisely, the fear | | | | and he would be OK. |
| of roller coasters. | | | | He looked me right in the eye, paused thoughtfully |
| Now fast forward two years. My son and I had | | | | for a moment, and then his eyes light up with |
| met up with his mom and sisters at Six Flags | | | | recognition. He smiled and wrapped his arms |
| Amusement Park one summer day. We were | | | | around me giving me a big hug before running off |
| separated and hadn't all been together in those | | | | to catch up with his sisters. All three of them |
| two years. We had a great day until it came time | | | | then went on the roller-coaster and had great |
| for the roller coaster ride, which my son's | | | | fun...5 or 6 times I think. I have never forgotten |
| younger sisters eagerly wanted to go on. And so | | | | that lesson. |
| did my son...I could see he really wanted to go on | | | | |