| For those of you that sit in on a Sunday evening | | | | genius could be the start of something big on ice, |
| watching ITV´s Dancing on Ice, it may be worth | | | | whilst one could not imagine much lifting, some of |
| taking note of the poorly selected "Celebrities" | | | | the dance moves are likely to keep even the |
| who are unavoidably dull in their skating and after | | | | professionals guessing, especially as no electrical |
| dance chat. We don´t really want to be watching | | | | equipment can be turned on once on the ice. |
| people who have been on a soap for the last ten | | | | 5) Jo Brand. |
| years on our screens any more than we already | | | | Her intelligence and unique sense of humour will |
| have done, which is why the following list of | | | | keep the vast majority of viewers entertained |
| possible ice-skaters should be taken seriously | | | | long enough without the need to see her gliding |
| enough for next year. | | | | around with such elegancy. |
| The following list should not only boost the tv | | | | 6) Phil Schofield. |
| channels rankings but will provide an | | | | His predictable and shockingly written puns in the |
| unprecedented amount of entertainment, laughter | | | | post dance interviews can now be used against |
| and injuries one may only normally see at an ice | | | | him. |
| hockey match between the USA and Russia. | | | | 7) Emma Bunton. |
| 1) Simon Cowell. | | | | Why she is a judge is anyones guess but she |
| Everyone would just love to see this man fall on | | | | should now be placed on the other side. She |
| his backside and have the judges telling him how | | | | knows as much about ice skating as contestant |
| rubbish he is for a change. Note: Bert and his Bird | | | | number 6 does. |
| to be brought in on a sabatical as judges. | | | | 8) Camilla Parker-Bowles. |
| 2) Rick Waller. | | | | Not least because there would be no chance of |
| A good voice but can he dance? No. But this | | | | her taking part, but one can imagine the sight with |
| would be one of the most hilarious few weeks of | | | | her long sequent dresses getting caught up in the |
| our lives should he become involved. Odds on | | | | blades of the skating shoes and she goes hurtling |
| being out first week extremely poor and all round | | | | towards the crowd head over heals and lands on |
| favourite to collapse soon after song begins. | | | | a very unsuspecting John Prescott who has come |
| 3) Boris Johnson. | | | | to watch Boris Johnson. |
| Yes, Londons Mayor, who seems to be out and | | | | With thos eight already in I am sure there could |
| about more than the Prime Minister. His poorly | | | | be a few that we could also add on to make the |
| spoken words are bound to get attention more | | | | event more entertaining than Phil Schofield makes |
| off the ice than on it and he does have the | | | | out it is. As things stand with the current version, |
| hairstyle to float around the rink. | | | | the best online bookmakers make Hayley |
| 4) Stephen Hawking. | | | | Tamaddon the 5/2 favourite with Mikey Graham |
| Not to be confused with "Wheels On Ice" This | | | | a 4/1 shot. |